oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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