White coat. Heels.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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