Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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