what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize