Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Your penis caused this!
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