I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
