I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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