Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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