Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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