I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
