Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
