I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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