69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
