you win again, gameday.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
