It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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