can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
