I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
