If i come over, it means nothing
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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