I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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