do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
