You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
