How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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