ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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