Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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