I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
