She's JV to your varsity
thus making me awesome and them whores
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
