shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
