does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
