He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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