i don't like sucking hair
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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