yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
