you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
