i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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