It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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