I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
