I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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