that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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