I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it was like eating out sand paper
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ladies don't puke and tell
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
