You made me cry and you don't even care
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
