I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
