Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
