Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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