I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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