i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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