I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
