HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
