I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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