this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
