Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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