So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
