i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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